That's so gay

How many times have you heard someone say "that's so gay" or how many times have you yourself said "that's so gay"??  I am an intelligent person and to be honest I cannot count that high.  I fully admit, up until about 4 years ago, I used the expression "that is so gay" only an almost daily basis.  Is it something I am proud of?  No but I am not going to pretend that I am perfect and having been wrong before.  Why is it in today's day and age it is deemed okay to mock people or look down upon their lifestyle if it isn't negatively impacting anyone else? 

Before I continue with my post I would like to explain one thing.  I have decided to use the term gay to cover man/man as well as woman/woman relationships rather then gay or lesbian.  Why?  I asked a close friend why she referred to herself as gay rather then lesbian and her answer has stuck with me, "it's just a label, it doesn't change me or who I am married to" 

Think about it for just a second, do you think that someone would honestly choose a lifestyle where it makes life more difficult due to lack of acceptance?  Kids are killing themselves due to teasing/tormenting based on the fact of who they are attracted to. Parents are trying to beat the "gay" out of their kids.   Who Jim is sleeping with or who Sally is raising her kids with, does it really impact your day to day life?  Unless Jim is sleeping with George and they are cooking meth and selling it at the mall, it doesn't really matter now does it?  I tend to shake my head when I hear people talking about gay marriage and how they are against it.  Simple solution, don't have a gay marriage then if it doesn't work for you.  Well what will happen to the family?  I know a lot of gay people who are happy raising families just like Sue and Joe down the street.  What happens if they divorce?  Probably the same thing that would happen if Paul and Karen across the street got divorced.

I worked as an Assistant Manager for three years at Gap after college.  I remember I used to get all sorts of people coming in and asking what it stood for, the first time it happened I looked at the guy like he had two heads since I didn't understand the question.  What he wanted to know along with many after him did it stand for gay and proud?  In a nutshell, NO.  The name comes from the generation gap between the parents and the youth of the time when the store was started.  I am fairly confident that if in fact it had anything to do with a hidden secret lifestyle, it would be all over the Internet and the tabloids.  I also had a lot of people wonder if we only hired gay guys to flatter the girls, especially the fat ones and tell straight guys that the less expensive stuff looked good so they would buy the more expensive clothing to keep the gays away.  Shhhhh here is the secret answer, if you were qualified you got the job regardless of who you were attracted to.  To the best of my knowledge out of the almost 200 people who were employed at my location in that time, there were 5 non straight people at my store.

According to some of my friends, I tend to have more gay friends/acquaintances then average.  Didn't know that this was part of the census, need to find out how to calculate the average.  Apparently I also tend to attract gays more then average (again with the average), I guess I don't want anyone judging who is in my bed (except maybe someone should have judged between March 2008 and October 2010) so I don't judge them. Maybe I give off some sort of acceptance vibe but I also deal with a larger number of same sex couples in my work then most of my co-workers.  I have had people want to deal with me based on recommendations from their friends because I am not going to judge them.

A relative of mine who I thought the sun rose and set by on a daily basis once made a comment when I was about 13 how she was glad that there weren't any "fags" in our family.  Really?  I write a blog about how my life is like a bad reality show and a family member being into another person of the same gender would have been a bad thing?  Is this the part where I come flying out of the closet announcing that I am in fact a giant lesbian, nah.  I have kissed a girl (twice) and unlike the girl that Katy Perry kissed, she didn't taste like cherry chapstick more like Diet Coke and to be honest it didn't do anything for me or her. 

A few months ago someone I work with, was walking to work and someone drove by and yelled out their window "faggot"  Would you yell "chink" at an Asian person or mock someone who is developmentally delayed?  Probably not unless you are an asshole and if that is the case, please don't read my blog anymore as I have a no asshole policy in place. 

Before I climb off my soapbox, remember man or woman, black or white, gay, straight or bi we all bleed red.

Introducting you to Phat to Fit to Fabulous

About 23 years ago, my parents got the brilliant idea that we should move to the SUBURBS.  The only things I knew about the suburbs were from reading Judy Blume novels and didn't know if I had it in my to walk around chanting "we must we must increase our bust" or peek at my neighbours with binoculars however I didn't have a choice.  I knew I didn't have a choice when I called the Children's Aid Society to report the potential for child abuse and a very irritated man with a thick British accent scolded me and told me that real abuse was happening in homes around the city.  Dude, I was 13 and being moved to a town with one mall that should have landed me a celebrity studded telethon or at least a charity run in my opinion.  Back to the point of this post, we moved to the suburbs and I felt like I was on a whole other planet.  First day of school came and passed, hated it and cried all the way home telling my Mom how horrible she was and that I wasn't going back to that school where people "still pinned their jeans"-lost that battle and had to go back to the school with no walls.  Second day, this very bubbly girl came up to me and said "You're new here right, and from Toronto" and in my best sullen I hate life and everything about it voice I answered "yeah and now I live here" to which the bubbly girl responded "OMG, I love Toronto do you speak valley can you speak valley to me?" I clearly remember thinking what the hell is happening to my life and doesn't this girl know that the valley is in California then in the next millisecond thinking to myself this girl isn't like everyone else here and I think we could be friends.  This bubbly girl has a name and it is Fiona, did we become the bestest of friends and challenge each other to see who could have the highest Montclair bang pouf ever, no (not bffs however we were friends) and thank God no.

We crossed paths almost daily between Grade 8 and the end of high school, some of the same friends and she worked at the same grocery store as my high school boyfriend then we lost contact.  I did my thing and she did her thing.  I did manage to maintain friendships with a lot of my middle and high school friends but always wondered about Fiona and what she was doing with herself.  I always knew it would be amazing whatever it was, there was always something about her that knew one day she would shine.  One day my BFF (am I twelve??) sent me an invite to this thing called Facebook and I joined (apparently I am 12 afterall) and I started reconnecting with all sorts of people from my past and one of them was Fiona.

We caught up and started chatting and instantly I was a wee bit jealous, she was leading an amazing life and one that I had wanted for myself at one time.  Around the time we started chatting again, she started blogging and I think I developed a straight girl crush on her.  Holy shit!!!  I knew it, there was something awesome-that chick has mad talent and can write like nobodies business.  I would love for anyone who is reading my blog to head over and check out her amazing blog

And to you Miss Fiona, like ohmigod you totally rock and are totally awesomely fabulous already