Introducting you to Phat to Fit to Fabulous

About 23 years ago, my parents got the brilliant idea that we should move to the SUBURBS.  The only things I knew about the suburbs were from reading Judy Blume novels and didn't know if I had it in my to walk around chanting "we must we must increase our bust" or peek at my neighbours with binoculars however I didn't have a choice.  I knew I didn't have a choice when I called the Children's Aid Society to report the potential for child abuse and a very irritated man with a thick British accent scolded me and told me that real abuse was happening in homes around the city.  Dude, I was 13 and being moved to a town with one mall that should have landed me a celebrity studded telethon or at least a charity run in my opinion.  Back to the point of this post, we moved to the suburbs and I felt like I was on a whole other planet.  First day of school came and passed, hated it and cried all the way home telling my Mom how horrible she was and that I wasn't going back to that school where people "still pinned their jeans"-lost that battle and had to go back to the school with no walls.  Second day, this very bubbly girl came up to me and said "You're new here right, and from Toronto" and in my best sullen I hate life and everything about it voice I answered "yeah and now I live here" to which the bubbly girl responded "OMG, I love Toronto do you speak valley can you speak valley to me?" I clearly remember thinking what the hell is happening to my life and doesn't this girl know that the valley is in California then in the next millisecond thinking to myself this girl isn't like everyone else here and I think we could be friends.  This bubbly girl has a name and it is Fiona, did we become the bestest of friends and challenge each other to see who could have the highest Montclair bang pouf ever, no (not bffs however we were friends) and thank God no.

We crossed paths almost daily between Grade 8 and the end of high school, some of the same friends and she worked at the same grocery store as my high school boyfriend then we lost contact.  I did my thing and she did her thing.  I did manage to maintain friendships with a lot of my middle and high school friends but always wondered about Fiona and what she was doing with herself.  I always knew it would be amazing whatever it was, there was always something about her that knew one day she would shine.  One day my BFF (am I twelve??) sent me an invite to this thing called Facebook and I joined (apparently I am 12 afterall) and I started reconnecting with all sorts of people from my past and one of them was Fiona.

We caught up and started chatting and instantly I was a wee bit jealous, she was leading an amazing life and one that I had wanted for myself at one time.  Around the time we started chatting again, she started blogging and I think I developed a straight girl crush on her.  Holy shit!!!  I knew it, there was something awesome-that chick has mad talent and can write like nobodies business.  I would love for anyone who is reading my blog to head over and check out her amazing blog

And to you Miss Fiona, like ohmigod you totally rock and are totally awesomely fabulous already

First Episode, it's about time!!!! The blog has finally happened.

I have been saying for years that I should start a blog since my life really is an assortment pack of crazy that makes the reality shows that fill the prime time air waves look tame.  I have people say to me "Only you Charmaine only you" when I have shared a tale or adventure.  If the Kardashians and the Real Housewives can make a living off of airing their dirty laundry for all to see, I figure I might as well give away a few laughs along with not so many tears for free.

For those who are reading this blog because you know me in person, feel free to skip over this introduction.  If you have stumbled upon this blog and don't know me from the person sitting across from you at Starbucks allow me to introduce myself.  I am Charmaine, soon to be 36 which I am excited about even though it puts me that much closer to 40.  As I get older I appreciate the ageing process much more then when I was younger.   I love and I mean LOVE reality television, the trashier the better.  Almost 8 years ago when I thought I should try on crazy on a daily basis, I actually applied to be on a reality show.  Sadly (or is it??) I wasn't contacted or selected however there is a whole other post coming up about my love for anything that includes a Bounty Hunter, Little Person, hoarding of empty pop bottles, a fame whoring family or getting hammered while trying to win a rose at a ceremony.  There is much more about me that I could share such as siblings, friendships, my career and relationship statuses however that info will make for interesting blog posts in the future.

I will be fair to any family and friends whom I will include in blog by giving them warning that I will be posting about a situation.  Names will be changed to prevent embarassment.  If you are ever included in the blog and feel like you were portrayed in a negative manner, say something to me about it don't hold it inside.  I try not to edit myself in an effort to make others happy and for that reason, at this point I will allow comments to be posted without moderater appoval.  If things are to ever turn nasty or information is posted that I know will offend other readers, it will be removed.

For my friends who know that I am a stickler for spelling, the one misspelled word in the title of my blog was done on purpose to avoid receiving a cease and desist order from our friends at the E! Network or Mr American Idol himself.

Thanks for stopping by and checking out my blog.  Stay tuned for future adventures.