That's so gay

How many times have you heard someone say "that's so gay" or how many times have you yourself said "that's so gay"??  I am an intelligent person and to be honest I cannot count that high.  I fully admit, up until about 4 years ago, I used the expression "that is so gay" only an almost daily basis.  Is it something I am proud of?  No but I am not going to pretend that I am perfect and having been wrong before.  Why is it in today's day and age it is deemed okay to mock people or look down upon their lifestyle if it isn't negatively impacting anyone else? 

Before I continue with my post I would like to explain one thing.  I have decided to use the term gay to cover man/man as well as woman/woman relationships rather then gay or lesbian.  Why?  I asked a close friend why she referred to herself as gay rather then lesbian and her answer has stuck with me, "it's just a label, it doesn't change me or who I am married to" 

Think about it for just a second, do you think that someone would honestly choose a lifestyle where it makes life more difficult due to lack of acceptance?  Kids are killing themselves due to teasing/tormenting based on the fact of who they are attracted to. Parents are trying to beat the "gay" out of their kids.   Who Jim is sleeping with or who Sally is raising her kids with, does it really impact your day to day life?  Unless Jim is sleeping with George and they are cooking meth and selling it at the mall, it doesn't really matter now does it?  I tend to shake my head when I hear people talking about gay marriage and how they are against it.  Simple solution, don't have a gay marriage then if it doesn't work for you.  Well what will happen to the family?  I know a lot of gay people who are happy raising families just like Sue and Joe down the street.  What happens if they divorce?  Probably the same thing that would happen if Paul and Karen across the street got divorced.

I worked as an Assistant Manager for three years at Gap after college.  I remember I used to get all sorts of people coming in and asking what it stood for, the first time it happened I looked at the guy like he had two heads since I didn't understand the question.  What he wanted to know along with many after him did it stand for gay and proud?  In a nutshell, NO.  The name comes from the generation gap between the parents and the youth of the time when the store was started.  I am fairly confident that if in fact it had anything to do with a hidden secret lifestyle, it would be all over the Internet and the tabloids.  I also had a lot of people wonder if we only hired gay guys to flatter the girls, especially the fat ones and tell straight guys that the less expensive stuff looked good so they would buy the more expensive clothing to keep the gays away.  Shhhhh here is the secret answer, if you were qualified you got the job regardless of who you were attracted to.  To the best of my knowledge out of the almost 200 people who were employed at my location in that time, there were 5 non straight people at my store.

According to some of my friends, I tend to have more gay friends/acquaintances then average.  Didn't know that this was part of the census, need to find out how to calculate the average.  Apparently I also tend to attract gays more then average (again with the average), I guess I don't want anyone judging who is in my bed (except maybe someone should have judged between March 2008 and October 2010) so I don't judge them. Maybe I give off some sort of acceptance vibe but I also deal with a larger number of same sex couples in my work then most of my co-workers.  I have had people want to deal with me based on recommendations from their friends because I am not going to judge them.

A relative of mine who I thought the sun rose and set by on a daily basis once made a comment when I was about 13 how she was glad that there weren't any "fags" in our family.  Really?  I write a blog about how my life is like a bad reality show and a family member being into another person of the same gender would have been a bad thing?  Is this the part where I come flying out of the closet announcing that I am in fact a giant lesbian, nah.  I have kissed a girl (twice) and unlike the girl that Katy Perry kissed, she didn't taste like cherry chapstick more like Diet Coke and to be honest it didn't do anything for me or her. 

A few months ago someone I work with, was walking to work and someone drove by and yelled out their window "faggot"  Would you yell "chink" at an Asian person or mock someone who is developmentally delayed?  Probably not unless you are an asshole and if that is the case, please don't read my blog anymore as I have a no asshole policy in place. 

Before I climb off my soapbox, remember man or woman, black or white, gay, straight or bi we all bleed red.

The Wheels on the Bus....What an adventure

Riding the bus in a large urban area is like reading a Choose Your Own Adventure book, you pick the path but never know how things will end up.  As someone who doesn't drive but needs to get from point A to point B other then by walking, I take public transit (bus, train, streetcar, subway) on a daily basis.  There are days when all semms fine and dandy then all of a sudden something happens and I wonder how I ended up on a vehicle going to crazytown.

I have been taking the bus without a parent since I was 10 (with a friend) and 12 (solo).  In that time I have seen a lot of things at times wondering if I was on Cash Cab the bus edition.  Just a mere two days ago there was a woman on my bus who was dancing about and asking other passengers if they had ever seen a crackhead or methhead look as good as her? I can answer that, no you truly are a unique individual Ms Crackhead and if I was a judge offering a sash for "Most Cracked Out" you would win hands down.  About a mnth ago there was a guy near the back of the bus where I was sitting who thought he was on his way to being the next great rapper equal only to the great Kish.  Once he was done entertaining us with his mad skillz and spitting some ill beats he was kind enough to offer to share the crack he was on his way to smoke with an elderly man near him.  So considerate, I generally offer my seat to the elderly who knew crack was as thoughtful?  Then there are those people who forget that there are people around them and carry on confidential conversations about work and co-workers.  Three weeks ago, I encountered two such geniuses on my way to work.  I really appreciated your stories especially the parts about one of my best friends who is one of your bosses. 

There are somethings about riding the bus that really irritate me.  My biggest pet peeves on the bus are:

• Strollers (especially travel systems) that take up two and three seats.  Did you pay for those seats?  No, great move the stroller so I can sit down and then move it back in front of me.  Another pet peeve is when the stroller is loaded down like a moving truck and then the kid who should be in the stroller is taking up another seat.
• Food, actually stinky food.  I am not a saint and do eat on the bus however my chocolate bar, muffin or bagel doesn't smell up the whole bus.  I do not need to be trapped on the 22 wheel hard top for 30 minutes smelling a fast food burger or onions off of your sandwich
• Loud phone talkers, um yeah there are at least 30 other people on the bus and we all don't care that Sara is a skank and stole Justin from you or that OMG you totally just got felt up by George even though his swag is totally lame.  Cool story bro, tell it again.
• Those who think the bus is there bathroom, yeah no need to be applying all your make up (I will admit to putting lipstick on while on the bus), clipping your nails, shaving your legs (witnessed on the GO Train from Aldershot to Port Credit) or flossing your teeth.
• Those who think the bus is their bedroom, you are supposed to climb onto the bus/train not your date.  If I wanted to see random strangers dry hump I would hang out Wedding reception halls and watch out for the Maid of Honour and Best Man to slip into the coat check.
• Bags on the seat, did you pay for that seat?  No then move your TNA duffel bag so I can sit my ass down.  Do I ever put my bag on the seat?  Yes when I am one of less then five people on the bus and near the back.

Despite the fact that I only pay for the ride and not the entertainment package that is included most days, I am thankful for (mostly) reliable transit service.  I am sure there is another post in the future about the bus adventures of the Queen of Public Transit.

I am the Brand

Almost all of the reality shows I watch aren't just shows they (or the people on them) have morphed into a brand.  I didn't need a film crew, stylist or PR person to help mold me into my public persona-life did that for me.  The brand that is Charmaine is all about perception and how people see me, some of it is who I really am and other parts are all smoke and mirrors.  No that isn't an admission of being a fake, it is an admission of not correcting people who don't take the time to get to know the real me.

My "real full time" job is one that I actually love going to on a daily basis.  While my official title sounds like I should be wearing a tiara, sash and carrying a sceptre Provincial Health and Safety regulations won't allow that so I settled for a fancy silver name badge instead.  I am known for three things at work; being bossy, quirky and crazy.  Yes, I am all three of those things-to a degree.  L,  is a friend and co-worker pointed out once, I am not bossy I just know what everyone needs to be doing ALL THE TIME.  It is true and to be honest, I am always respectful of those I work with and will not make anyone feel small.  Crazy does come in handy a lot of the time, who else would work 24 straight hours three days after having surgery, a seizure and no pain killers.  Right, I would.  My crazy does tend to come from my dedication to the job.  Apparently one day, my crazy vibe was low since I was asked what was going on and why the change of location had killed it-the question was never asked again.  Quirky, hands down and you know what it is how people remember me and as a result I have a lot of repeat business because people know I am being real with them and not trying to be someone I am not.  Have these qualities hindered my career?  Yeah, hands down it has taken me longer then I have wanted to reach certain benchmarks however I think that my true dedication and work ethic are coming out loud and clear along with being recognised by those who need to see it.

Do you remember the song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks?  For the longest time, I felt like that was my anthem and not in a good way-I didn't care who thought I was a bitch or why they thought it; then I realised what the lyrics of the song were actually saying and I was really okay with it.  There are probably a handful of people who I have come into contact with over the last 36 years who know what those lyrics mean when it comes to me.

All good brands go through transitions, some are better then other.  Remember the fiasco of New Coke? The advantage of being my own brand is I get to choose do I want a line of OPI nail colours or do I want to reach everyone and strike a deal with Revlon?  Will I endorse the brand love my his Royal Airness or kick it old school with Rev Run and Steven Tyler?  I am looking at 2012 and being 36 as a transitional year and ultimately being the year of awesome.