Just like the Final Rose Ceremony

In all fairness to the men whom I have dated in the last five years, I wouldn't want my personal life shared all over the Internet (oh wait that is why I have a Facebook account) without my permission so I won't be sharing details of those relationships here out of respect to them.

Other then going on a reality show filled with roses, broken dreams, a bump it, booze and water proof mascara how does anyone ever meet a mate?  That is the question I asked of myself just over five years ago when I was ready to date after being widowed almost 3 years prior.  At the time, I was working for a large women's retailer and my immediate supervisor was a man.  Many a tongues wagged and stories were murmured amongst the other Managers' that there was a lot more going on then Store Manager and District Manager to the point that I was approached by his boss and HR about "our relationship".  Ohhhh was there scandal brewing at Lime Ridge Mall?  Nope, not even close unless you count me being his coffee bitch as an affair.  Actually he was dating a woman who one of my exes from High School had dated a few times, hello awkward nice to meet you.  The only time things got remotely personal was when he told me that if I didn't stop spending so much damn time at the store I was going to die alone and needed a boyfriend and since I was "boring" and didn't hang out at bars that on-line dating was the way to go.  I went home and thought about it and fought the idea for about 2 weeks then decided to give it a try.  After all I had met several people involved with scrap booking on line and none of them tried to maul, molest or rape me.  I was shocked and horrified to realise that I was going to have to pay money to use a dating site, really why should I do that?  I then heard of a site that was free and even the name sounded promising mentioning all the fish in the sea.

I now understand why the women on dating shows, drink as much as they do and cry so much.  Oh Jesus on a jet ski, I think that my brain lost a few cells each time with each message I read.  There was the guy who I actually met for coffee (well I had a hot chocolate) and he expected me to put out since he bought me a hot chocolate.  Really you think $1.25 will get my pants off?  Sorry not going to happen.  There was the guy who messaged me wanting to know if he could eat Jell-O off my feet?  Blocked instantly but what I want to know was, did he mean prepared Jell-O vs powdered and what flavor?  No, I wouldn't have done it but I have been curious.  The guy who I met who was sporting a fanny pack, Dad jacket, no socks with track pants which now makes me ask people I chat with on-line if they wear a fanny pack.  There were messages filled with so much text lingo that I couldn't translate at all and didn't respond. 

In January as part of the Year of Awesome, I decided to give on-line dating another shot with the above mentioned free site much to the horror of friends and family.  It was a bust and I realised that I am worth more then messages from guys telling me that they want to meet me so they can devour me like the Mandarin buffet or needing a translator to figure out what the hell U B so fyne, here is my digits 905-849- ____ holla at me grl means in English or the barrage of messages from one guy who wanted to know when I was going to give him my home number-how about never.  I realised that the quality of men on this free site wasn't up to my standards and I was worth the money for a paid site. 

After visiting a few different sites and asking people for suggestions, I decided on a site.  The first few days were interesting to say the least and I began to wonder if I had just wasted $66, was I about to be the second last girl who was left and not going to get the rose? Were there any normal guys out there at all?  I quickly figured out how to block people and re-worked my profile taking into consideration advice given by friends KH and BB.  In a nutshell the reworking and advice paid off, the creepers disappeared and the cream rose to the top. Not to be all cryptic and vaguebookish (that is for you Barb) but if you are reading this and know my email address and the part that is missing from it, I have found it and you are the part needed to finish it.